We Met Again (Will You Stay?)
by Clexaholic
Summary: Takes place after the ending of season two of the series (Therefor, spoiler alert! If you haven't finished what there is of the series, I suggest you do that before reading). Clarke has been alone out in the forest for along time now and the fire inside her is about to when a familiar face shows up out of nowhere. Clexa/Clarklexa themed.
1. Chapter 1

WE MET AGAIN (WILL YOU STAY?)

 **Chapter one: A familiar soul**

Clarke was leaning against the big, cold tree. Her blonde hair was hanging in stripes down her face. It was covered in wet from the rain that had occurred earlier during the day, mixed with dirt and moss from the huge tree behind her. Her deep blue eyes were fixated on the little, pathetic fire in front of her. It was fighting to keep alive, but it was to no use. It was too weak and it didn't take long before it gave up and died and only left a thin cloud of smoke that reached for the sky after itself. Clarke cursed and leaned forward to poke in the remains of the fire with a stick. She sighed loudly; it had taken her forever to make that little fire. There was no way she was going to be able to make a new one. Absolutely not a big one enough that would be enough to keep her warm through the night that crept closer and closer.

Frustrated, Clarke stood up on unsteady legs; she was tired, so incredibly tired. What had she been thinking when she left Camp Jaha? That she would be able to make it by herself out here? She had never been so naïve before, has she gone out of her mind? Back when she made the decision to leave, she hadn't given it much thought; she just needed to get out of there. She needed to be alone for a while, maybe a day or two. It hadn't been a part of her; not very thought through, plan to be gone for so long. The fact that she had been gone for soon two weeks now was a mistake. She had just walked into the forest without any destination goal what so ever and eventually she gotten lost. Of course she would get lost in a huge, never ending forest. She should've seen that coming. Now she was stuck in there with only her thoughts as company and she was pretty sure she would go crazy soon.

Food hadn't been a big problem the first couple of days. She had at least been clear enough in her head to not leave the camp without packing some food and water in her little backpack. But the food wasn't meant to be enough for two weeks, only four or five days if she was careful with it, so after a week she had to start hunting for food. Animal or plants, whatever she stumbled upon that was eatable. That was easier said than done and a lot of days, Clarke's stomach had to settle with some roots and nuts, maybe a little wild rabbit if she was lucky. Her hunting for food had also been the biggest reason that she had gotten lost in this stupid forest. Clarke mentally slapped herself for leaving the camp in the first place.

Clarke had left because she couldn't handle being around other people, to keep them alive and to be in charge. The weight on her shoulders was overwhelming her, chocking her until she was scared that she wouldn't be able to make the right choices for her people anymore. And the guilt burned inside of her like a hot piece of metal. She had killed hundreds of innocent people; she had so much blood on her hands and the voices inside her head where screaming at her, they would never leave her be. All those innocent people had probably been scared out of their minds. Mount Weather had been their only safety, the only place where they could be safe and survive. In the blink of an eye, Clarke had literally let them all melt away from radiation exposure; they had absolutely nowhere to escape and now they were all burning her from the inside of her thoughts, overflowing her with guilt. She tried to fight back. _I did it for my people_ , she kept thinking. _I did it to save my friends, my family_. _But what if there was another way? What if you just had thought a bit harder? There were children in there._ _You killed them._

Then there was Lexa's betrayal. She had tried really hard not to think about that, it hurt even more than the burning guilt. She tried to push it away as far as she could. It had broken her heart into a million pieces; she had never felt so broken before. Even though a part of her understood Lexa's act, she understood that she was only doing what was best for her people. Clarke had killed off hundreds of people to save her own, she wasn't much better. But that didn't take away the fact that Lexa could've stabbed her right in the heart instead and that would've been less painful than the pain she felt from her betraying her. She had thought Lexa cared for her. She had been such a fool to think that.

When she had first met the Commander of the Grounder people, she had been hard as a stone and cold as ice. She strongly believed that feelings only were weakness, that they would prevent you from making the right choices. You had to think with your head and not your heart. But as time passed, Lexa's ice cold heart had started to melt and she opened up to Clarke. She had opened up enough for Clarke to see right through her, Lexa was weak from hiding from her feelings, not the opposite. It made Clarke feel pretty special to be honest, that Lexa trusted her and dared to show her feelings around her. She had been foolish to believe that Lexa would completely break down her stone wall though. Lexa would never let go of her belief that feelings were weakness when making decisions, especially when it concerned her people. Clarke wasn't special enough.

Clarke quickly turned around and stabbed her knife into the barque of the tree behind her. She let out a loud scream of frustration and pain as she pressed the knife further into the defenseless tree. Maybe it wasn't the greatest idea to stand in the middle of the forest and scream her lungs out while the sun was slowly climbing down on the sky, making the already dark forest even darker. She didn't care for a second though, if the beasts of the forest heard her. She leaned her forehead against the hard surface of the tree and let out a weak, hoarse whimper as a lonely tear rolled down her dirt covered cheek. She couldn't do this anymore.

She had stood against the tree, supporting her forehead against it, for a while. It was completely quiet and peaceful around her. The only sound that could be heard was the sound of the wind playing with the leafs up in the many trees surrounding her. But then she suddenly she heard a small, almost unnoticeable crack behind her. Slowly she turned her head around, then her whole body followed. With a firm grip around her knife, which she out of instinct had dragged out of her pocket, she stared out into the dark of the forest. Her eyes were darting around her, looking for whatever could've made that sound. The sound of her blood rushing grew bigger in her ears as adrenaline was darting around in her blood. She might've not cared about the beasts living in the forest some seconds ago, but when she heard the sound; her mind had jumped straight to the time when Lexa and she had fought that enormous gorilla together. She had been terrified and she still was terrified of that damn animal.

When Clarke had stood completely still and just stared into the dark for a while, she started to relax in her body. She shook her head a bit; she was probably just being paranoid. It wasn't weird that she was though, she was all alone out in a big and dangerous forest and she had been really paranoid during the days she had been out there, but she had never heard sounds that hadn't actually been there before. Clarke sighed at herself; she had enough on her mind, why did she have to start having hallucinations too? She was just about to put her knife back into her pocket when she swore that she had detected a movement in the corner of her eyes.

Quickly she turned around and held her knife ready to defend herself. She stopped in mid-movement though and a loud gasp escaped her mouth. Her eyes widened when they had met a familiar figure standing in front of her. She couldn't believe her eyes.  
"Hello Clarke." It was a familiar sound that both made her feel happy, but also an intense anger built up inside of her. She let her hand, which was holding tightly on to her knife, fall to her side. She felt completely numb in her body and she didn't know how to react. "Lexa…" she whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors note: Thank you all for your follows, favorites and reviews! This is my very first story I've posted on this page. I have always liked to write stories and fanfictions, but always just kept them for myself. I guess I just thought that I wasn't good enough at writing to be put up against all the incredible talent I've stumbled upon here So, I'm very happy to see that people so many people already have followed it and favorites it.**

 **I forgot to mention in the first chapter, that I'm not a native English speaker. Therefore, my English isn't flawless at all, but I'm doing my best to keep the quality in my language despite the fact that English is just my secondary language. With that said, I represent to you, chapter two of We Met Again.**

 **Chapter two: Into pieces**

Lexa and Clarke were just standing in silence in the middle of the dark forest, staring at each other. The only light they were provided with came from the moon, which lightened up the forest just enough for them to be able to see each other. They hadn't moved an inch for what now seemed like forever. The tension between them was so strong, Clarke swore she could've reached out and physically touched it. Lexa looked unmoved as always though, not a single expression had formed on her face. Her green eyes looked calm and full of control as the slowly moved around to examine the blonde that stood in front of her. She was patiently waiting for the Sky girl to sort out her thoughts and recover from the chock, which was obviously happening judging by her face expression.

Lexa was right. Clarke was in chock, and she was also mentally freaking out. She had no clue of what to do or say. _Should she leave?_ That was the first thought that had occurred in her mind, but she quickly came to the conclusion that it might've been a stupid idea. She was completely helpless out here, weak and a complete mess. _Then, should she stay?_ She wanted to stay; a big part of her had been incredibly happy for seeing Lexa in front of her. Even though Clarke was pissed off at the commander, she still loved her. She can't escape that, no matter how hard she tried. _But what was Lexa even doing here? How the hell had she been able to found her?_ The questions started to wildly fly around in Clarke's, already tangled up, mind. She took a deep breath to calm herself down a bit, she needed to regain her control or she would freak out even more. She didn't want to make any decisions she later would come to regret.

After a long time of patiently waiting, Lexa could see that the Sky girl was starting to calm down a bit. Carefully she took a small step forward. She knew Clarke was angry; the flames she had seen in Clarke's eyes when she had laid them upon Lexa had given her away. She couldn't blame her though; Lexa had betrayed her, left her outside Mount Weather while her people were still trapped inside. It had been a decision made purely with her head. She had a duty to protect her people and she did, her peoples' safety always came first. It didn't mean she didn't care for Clarke anymore, because she did. It had been the toughest decision Lexa had been forced to make in her whole life. The memory of that moment, when she had been forced to hurt the person she cared for the most, had haunted her ever since and it broke her heart every time she had thought about it. Which was quite often, Clarke was always on her mind.

"What are you doing here Lexa?" Clarke finally said when she had managed to gather herself from the chock. Lexa didn't answer right away; she just heightened her head slightly and took one more step towards Clarke, so she would be able to see her better.

"I could ask you the same." She said without letting her voice crack. She had been as overwhelmed to have stumbled upon Clarke out here in the forest, as Clarke had been to suddenly see the Commander standing in front of her from out of nowhere. Lexa had just been a lot better than Clarke to conceal those feelings.

Clarke snorted at Lexa's answer. Lexa will always be Lexa, but she needed to cut off that tough commander act or Clarke would very quickly be on her way out of there.

"C'mon Lexa, stop it. Tell me why you're here. Were you following me or something?" She said and narrowed her eyes at Lexa as she had asked the question. Lexa was quick with shaking her head slightly.

"No, I was not. I was just out in the forest to…" She looked away a bit and swallowed.

"To gather my thoughts." She continued, but that hadn't been the truth. She had been out in the forest because her thoughts were breaking her down into what felt like a million pieces. She couldn't let her people see their leader that vulnerable, so she had taken off at sunset to let her emotions out.

"But how did you find me?" Clarke asked and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

Lexa couldn't stop the little smile that had formed on her lips. It had made warmth grow inside Clarke's heart and spread out to the rest of her body with the blood that rushed through her veins. She took one more deep breath, trying to control something completely different this time.

"That was very easy, Clarke. I would recognize your voice anywhere, even when you're screaming." Lexa said as her eyes had softened a bit and moved up to meet Clarke's deep blue ones again. Clarke looked like she had softened up too, Lexa could no longer detect the fire of anger they carried before.

Clarke mentally cursed. She was angry with Lexa, but Lexa was making it so damn hard to stay angry with her. She took a step backwards and threw her arms to her sides.

"You shouldn't have come here Lexa." She said and turned around. She held her arms around herself, like she had been trying to keep all her pieces in place. She sighed when she could hear Lexa walk closer. She could feel the Commander's hand on her shoulder and it made her heart race away. It scared her so much, how Lexa was still able to make her feel that way.

"Lexa, don't." She said with a weak voice, but Lexa didn't listen. She could feel Lexa's grip tighten as she tried to get Clarke to turn around. It had made Clarke snap and quickly turn around, knocking Lexa's arm right off her shoulder in the aggressive movement.

"No, you don't get to do this to me!" She growled and dug her eyes into Lexa's. The fire was back, burning more intense than before. Lexa was in chock, she had opened her mouth to say something, but she couldn't for anything in the world find anything in her rushing mind. She had just ended up standing there, completely frozen.

"You left me and my people to die, Lexa. I trusted you, but you betrayed me! You broke my heart and walked away, like I was just some nobody. Do you even care for me? Was it all just a lie?" Clarke was furious and it felt like her body was literally burning from anger. She had taken a step closer to Lexa, making the Commander take one step back. She tried to keep her head high, but Clarke's sharp look was digging into her like spears. She took a deep and unsteady breath.

"I do care for you Clarke." Her voice cracked, she had lost. She couldn't keep up her cold act anymore; the emotions were welling over her like a tsunami, everything at once. She could see Clarke tensing her jaws.

"It broke my heart too, having to make that decision. It has haunted me ever since." Lexa continued. She felt so weak for admitting her true feelings, but the situation had demanded it. Clarke had demanded it. Clarke could see that Lexa was speaking the truth, she could see the guilt Lexa was carrying and it made her somewhat happy. Lexa did care for her after all, but she couldn't get weak for the heartbroken look on Lexa's face. She wouldn't let it be that easy to earn her forgiveness.

"I think you should leave." Clarke said coldly and bit her jaws together. Lexa looked up at Clarke with surprise.

"No Clarke, I can't do that! Look at you; you're not doing well out here alone. I refuse to leave." Lexa said and reached out for Clarke, who just moved away.

"I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, Lexa." Clarke said, just as coldly as before. She knew though, that she wasn't capable of surviving by herself out here anymore, not at all. She had probably looked like complete crap, because that was exactly how she had felt, weak and hopeless. She had even been ready to give up and die only a couple of minutes ago. As much as she didn't want to admit it, she needed Lexa right now more than ever.

"You are not Clarke! Please, let me help you, come back with me to the village." Lexa begged and this time she had taken a grasp around both of Clarke's shoulders. Clarke had tried to push Lexa away, but Lexa's hold had been too strong for Clarke's tired muscles to fight. She started to panic, throwing punches at Lexa's chest, squirming to get away from her.

"Stop it Lexa, I don't need you! I don't need you!" She had almost screamed and started to squirm even wilder, but her punches quickly became weaker and weaker. She was panting heavily and the tears were burning in her eyes. She was so weak, she couldn't fight it anymore. She had no chance against Lexa's firm grip.

Lexa had just stood there, unmoved, letting Clarke throw her punches at her, but she refused to let her go. She was so afraid Clarke would take off if she did. Not that Lexa doubted she could run after, but she was so scared of losing Clarke when she had just found her again. She couldn't let that happen. So she took the punches without moving an inch to stop the Sky girl. Clarke needed this; she needed to take out her anger on something and what could've possibly been better than the actual source of it?

As Clarke's punches had become weaker and weaker, Lexa slowly had brought the blonde closer to her. Clarke had let herself being brought closer to Lexa's warmth. She didn't have any energy left to fight it and soon she was sobbing into Lexa's neck. She felt so weak. Her arms were clung tightly around Lexa's waist, hands grasping her clothes. With that action, she had begged Lexa to hold her and keep her in once piece.

Lexa had immediately thrown her arms around Clarke's neck, burying her face into the blonde hair. She swallowed hard to keep herself from spilling out her emotions in tears too. She had waited for this moment ever since she turned around and walked away at Mount Weather, to get to hold Clarke again. She had been so afraid that it would never happen again, but there she was, holding the Sky girl yet again. The relief was overwhelming her.

"I need you…" Clarke whimpered as she had started to feel a bit dizzy. Her head was spinning out of control and then suddenly, she couldn't feel her body anymore. She collapsed in Lexa's arms.

"Clarke!" She could hear Lexa scream in the distance. It was the last thing she had heard before everything had gone black.


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors note: This chapter might be a bit short, I'm sorry for that. It's just because I won't be able to write until Sunday or next Monday again and I don't want you to have to wait for so long until there's a new chapter! So, I hope you'll appreciate this even though it's short.**

 **Chapter three: I'll watch over you**

"Has she woken up?" Lexa asked as she entered the tent.

"No Heda" Nyko said from where he was kneeled besides the bed where the Sky girl was laying, her eyes still closed. He was wiping her forehead carefully with a wet piece of cloth.

Clarke had fainted out of complete exhaustion in Lexa's arms. She hadn't gotten enough food for almost two weeks and the dark circles under her eyes told she hadn't gotten much sleep either. Clarke had been weak, the emotional breakdown she had experienced out in the forest had drained the last drop of her energy and her body had just given in. If Lexa wouldn't have found her that night, she feared what could've been Clarke's fait instead.

Lexa had stubbornly carried Clarke all the way back to the village. She hadn't reached it before the sun had started to rise on the sky. She had been completely exhausted when she handed over the Sky girl to Nyko, who took her into a tent just besides Lexa's. Indra had been there too. She had given Lexa a worried look when she had seen Clarke, she knew the Sky people were a threat to them again after the incidence at Mount Weather, but she didn't say anything about it. Lexa had given her a sharp and tired look that meant _not now_ , so she had just bent her head slightly in respect and headed back to the Commander's tent.

It had become morning now and everyone in the village had woken up, everyone except for Clarke.

Lexa walked up besides Nyko and looked at Clarke. Her breathing was steady and right now it mostly just looked like she was just very deeply asleep. It calmed her to see that Clarke seemed to be doing fine. Lexa let a little smile form on her lips before she looked at Nyko.

"Bants osir (Leave us)." Lexa ordered and watched as Nyko nodded and quickly put away the cloth onto a table near the bed and left.

Not until he had left, Lexa kneeled down besides the bed where Nyko had sat before. Carefully she caressed Clarke's pale cheek like she was as fragile as thin glass.

For a long time, she had just sat there and admired how beautiful Clarke was in her sleep. She knew that Clarke needed to rest and this sleep was going to be good for her, but a part of her really wanted Clarke to wake up so she could look into those deep blue eyes of hers that Lexa had missed so terribly much. Lexa placed her arms on the side of the bed and then supported her head on them, so her face was in the same height as Clarke's.

* * *

"Lexa? Lexa wake up." Lexa slowly opened her eyes. It had been a bit hard for her to focus at first, so she brought up her hands to gently rub them. Apparently she had fallen asleep when she had rested her head on her arms. Lexa hadn't gotten much sleep that night though, only a couple of minutes at most. Her worry for Clarke wouldn't leave her alone and had made her walk out to Clarke's tent at least twenty times throughout the night. At least that's how many times it felt like, she hadn't kept count.

When Lexa realized that it had been Clarke who had woken her up, she quickly sat up straight and looked at the blonde, who was sitting up in the bed. She still looked pale and exhausted, but better than before at least.

"You're awake." Lexa said and tried to contain her excitement as hard as she could.

What Lexa didn't know though, was that Clarke had been awake for quite a while. She had been very confused when she had woken up, almost panicked, but when she had turned her head and faced Lexa's sleeping face, she immediately had calmed down.

"Yeah…" Clarke said with a little smile and lay back down again. Now when Lexa was sitting up; she didn't have to sit up in the bed anymore to be able to see Lexa properly. Think that the frightening and feared commander of the grounders could look so incredibly adorable while sleeping.

Lexa had been quick up on her feet to walk over to the wooden table, standing not far away from the bed. She poured a cup of water from the can that was standing on the table and went back to the bed.

"Here, drink up. You need it." Lexa said and brought the cup closer to Clarke's lips.

Clarke smiled a bit and grabbed the cup to pour the refreshing liquid into her mouth by herself.

"You don't have to babysit me like that Lexa. I'm fine, really." She said and placed the cup on the ground besides the bed. She looked up at Lexa, who was carrying a concerned look on her face. It had made Clarke very happy to see that the Commander was caring for her, but she needed to get back to her people. She had been gone for way too long. Clarke sat up once more and was about to leave the bed when Lexa stopped her.

"Hold up, where are you going?" She said and tilted her head slightly to the side. Clarke frowned a bit.

"I'm going back to Camp Jaha." Clarke answered and rose up from the bed, despite Lexa attempting to keep her in it. It had been a terrible mistake to stand up, especially that quickly and forcefully. Clarke had immediately felt the dizziness rush back to her head and she wiggled backwards a bit. Lexa was quickly there to support the blonde so she could sit back on the fur covered bed.

"You're not well enough to leave, whether you like it or not Clarke. You need to regain your strength." Lexa said and sat down beside her on the bed.

Clarke's head was spinning again and the memories from last night in the forest were crashing down on her. The way she had tried to get out of Lexa's grip, hit her and wildly squirmed until she had passed out. Lexa had only tried to help her, though Clarke admitted, it had felt good to throw those punches at Lexa. She had been so furious at Lexa for weeks. It had felt really good to let all the anger out, but she still felt a sting of guilt for it.

"I'm sorry I hit you that much." Clarke said after a moment of silence between the two girls.

Lexa didn't say anything; she just nodded understandingly and reached out to take Clarke's hand in hers.

"I will order for some food for you. I'm assuming you haven't eaten properly in a too long time." Lexa said as she gently squeezed Clarke's hand before she stood up. She let it go of Clarke's hand and turned around to leave the tent.

"Lexa." Clarke said and looked up at the Commander, who stood half turned around in the opening of the tent. "Thank you." She said and smiled a bit.

"It's the least I can do." Lexa smiled mildly, but with a hint of sadness, at the blonde before she left the tent. It was really the least she could do after what she had done to Clarke.


	4. Chapter 4

**Authors note: I'm back, with a longer chapter than before! That's why it has taken so long, I'm sorry. I have also gotten some time to think about the story while I've been working with this chapter and I came to the conclusion that in order for me to make this a story that will go on for a while, I need to sit down an plan out more of what is going to happen in it. I'm soon at the end of what I've already planned before I started writing from the very beginning, so I need more rail to go on. That can take a little while, because I want the story to be as good as possible and to be interesting! But, I'll hope you'll bear with me, and I'll do my best.**

 **Chapter 4: I need you**

Lexa entered the tent after a while of being away. After her came Nyko. He was carrying a wooden bowl filled with fresh fruits and a plate with dried meat. Clarke opened her eyes and looked up at the two grounders. She had felt her mouth immediately water when she had laid her eyes upon the food.

Nyko had placed the bowl and the plate on the wooden table and left without saying a word. Though he had seemed a bit tense and had thrown a lot of suspicious looks towards the Sky girl. Clarke had wondered why at first, but chose to ignore the healer. Her mind had been too set on the food, which was calling for her from the table.

When Nyko had left the tent, Clarke had sat up in the bed to walk over to the table, but Lexa had held up her hand in the air, a gesture that told the blonde to stay where she was. Clarke rolled her eyes a bit, but did as the commander had gestured her to do and stayed at her sitting position in the bed.

"Why are you doing this? Taking care of me? I can clearly see that your people are disagreeing with it." Clarke said as Lexa sat down beside her on the bed and handed her a smaller plate with some cut up apples and dried meat.

Lexa swallowed the piece of dried meat she had been chewing on and looked at Clarke.

"They believe that you are a threat now." She said and put another piece of meat in her mouth.

Clarke had followed Lexa's movements. The way she chewed, the way her lips moved, it was like time had stopped for a second. Clarke had barely heard what Lexa had said.

"After the betrayal…" Lexa glanced up at the same time as Clarke and their eyes met for a second. Clarke had been pushed out of the trance Lexa's beauty had caused her to fall into when Lexa had mentioned the betrayal. Her stomach had cringed at the mention of what she so desperately tried and wanted to forget.

"They are afraid that your people will seek revenge." Lexa said and looked down at the plate in her lap. Clarke frowned a bit and shewed on a piece of apple as a distraction from her thoughts that were whirling around inside her head.

"So, that's what this is? You're spoiling me and taking care of me so that I won't go straight back to my people and tell them it's time for revenge?" Clarke said after a moment of silence and looked questioningly at Lexa, who quickly looked up at the blonde. The commander had looked slightly panicked from what Clarke had assumed.

"No, that is not at all how it is, Clarke." Lexa took a deep breath.

"I'm not here to bribe you; I understand that you and your people feel anger. You have every right to feel so." Lexa put away her plate and stood up from the bed. Her emotions had started to build up inside her and it was making her restless, so she had started to walk back and forth in the room. She wasn't used to her emotions taking over as much as they had done. She tried her best to push them away, but how would she explain to Clarke how she was feeling and why she hadn't let Clarke leave the village if she wouldn't let some emotions spill?

Well, Clarke hadn't been strong enough to leave, that was obvious, but not the only reason.

"You have to understand that the decision I made was purely made from my head. I'm the commander and I need to protect my people at any cost." Lexa had shot a quick look at Clarke who had nodded slightly.

Clarke did understand, even though she didn't want to. Despite that big part of her emotions that was telling her that she should hate Lexa for what she had done, Clarke understood the duty that Lexa had as a commander.

Though, it didn't take away the fact that it had struck her like a knife to her heart at that moment when Lexa had turned around and walked away. Even though Clarke had gotten a good amount of time to let the happening at Mount Weather sink in, even though she understood why Lexa made the decision she did, a part of her was still feeling hurt and burning with anger.

All her feelings were spinning around in a big mess and she hadn't known how to feel anymore. Everything she felt, anger, understanding, pain, relief and just everything in between, had been so mixed and tangled together that it was making her confused and rather frustrated at herself.

"It means my feelings have to come second." Lexa continued and sat down on the bed again with a sigh.

"I told you that it broke my heart to make that decision." Lexa said with a weak voice and looked up to meet Clarke's deep blue eyes. Clarke had started to tear up. It had escalated to a really emotional conversation very quickly, mixed with her confusion and frustration because of that she didn't know how to feel. It had simply been to no use to try to stop the tears. They had stubbornly burnt behind her eyelids and started to roll down her pale cheeks.

Lexa had never failed to push away her emotions before, but she had felt completely hopeless sitting there besides Clarke, her emotions basically pouring out hear ears. It might've been an over exaggeration, but for Lexa, who wasn't used to her emotions being in charge as much as they were, it had at least felt like that was what was happening. How did the Sky girl manage to do this to her?

Lexa bit her lip slightly. "Like I said, you're not here because of what you are assuming." She said and straightened her back a bit, trying to regain control over herself and end this horrible conversation. It had been making her too weak and she couldn't allow that.

"Then what is it?" Clarke said sobbing and looked at Lexa with a begging look. She had started to become out of her mind of frustration. She was sick of Lexa trying to slinger her way around her questions and trying to go against her own feelings. She had seen a glimpse of Lexa being fragile for a second, but now the commander was putting on an emotionless face again.

* * *

Lexa quickly rose from the bed and rushed out from the tent when Clarke had asked the question. She couldn't be in there anymore; it had been too much for her to handle. The guilt she felt was ripping her apart. She had no idea what to say to Clarke or how to even look at her without it feeling like kick in the stomach. Looking at Clarke in the shape she had been in from being out in the forest by herself for almost two weeks made Lexa feel devastated. It had been her fault; she had caused this mess and it was killing her.

"Heda." She heard a familiar voice call for her from down the hill that Clarke's tent was placed on. Lexa took a deep breath before walking down the hill to Indra, who was waiting for her. She had a concerned look on her face.

"Is something wrong, Heda?" She asked as they had walked together to the Commander's tent. Lexa shook her head slightly, but kept it high.

"No, nothing is wrong." She answered and entered the tent as Indra held it open for her. Lexa slowly walked up to her chair and sat down. She had to fight hard to not sigh in exhaust as she did.

Indra had known Lexa for a long time, she had spent many hours by her commander's side and because of that, she hadn't been fooled by Lexa's attempt to act like nothing was wrong. She slowly approached the chair and stopped to stand by its side.

"I can see that something is bothering you, Heda." She had said carefully, not to upset Lexa. She knew that she shouldn't question her commander, though Indra was quite known to do so and then anyways. She was the only one who dared to and when the worry on Lexa's face had been so obvious, she couldn't keep herself from speaking her mind.

When Lexa didn't answer, she had tried another approach, a bit more daring.

"Does your concern involve the Sky princess?" She said and threw a quick look at Lexa to see her reaction. Lexa had just waved with her hand in the air towards Indra to show her that she didn't want to discuss it, but Indra had noticed the slight change on Lexa's face that answered on her question more than words could have done.

"The people have concern over her too. Now when the war is over, her and the rest of the Skaikru could be a threa…" She hadn't been able to finish her sentence, because Lexa had quickly stood up from the chair and cut her off.

"She is not a threat!" Lexa had growled at her.

Indra had remained where she was staning and had only slightly raised her one eyebrow at Lexa's reaction. She wasn't sure if she agreed with her commander on that, but that wasn't something unusual, when it came to the Sky people, Indra was disagreeing with her commander a lot.

Though, even if she didn't agree with Lexa, she trusted her. Lexa had always put her people first; it had especially shown at Mount Weather. Indra knew about the special relationship she had to the Sky girl, she had clearly seen that Lexa was very fond of her. Despite that, Lexa had taken the deal and saved her people, even when the cost had been to betray Clarke.

The relationship her commander had with Clarke had always been concerning her though. She was afraid it would one day prevent Lexa from making the best decisions, that it would make her blind. It wasn't right to think those things about her commander, she knew that, but it wasn't impossible that it could happen. Even though she had come to accept and actually like the Sky girl, she could easily become a threat to them and to her commander's better judgment.

She trusted Lexa, but she didn't fully trust Clarke. Even though Clarke had proven herself to make quite a good team with Lexa, Indra hadn't found the full grown trust for her yet.

"Apologizes Heda; I did not mean to question you. I'm just concerned for our people's safety." She excused herself and lowered her head slightly to show respect to her commander.

Lexa had not been in the mood for this kind of discussion at all. Her thoughts were spinning all over the place and she couldn't think clearly. She hadn't meant to get that angry at Indra, she knew she was only thinking about the safety of her people, but after the event in Clarke's tent, she had less control over her emotions than usual.

"I know Indra, but you know that I will always put our people first. Clarke is not a threat, nor is her people." Lexa said and turned her head towards Indra, trying to look as confident as possible about what she just had said. She hadn't been entirely sure if what she had said was true, but she knew Clarke wouldn't be a threat; at least that much was true. The rest of the Skaikru, she wasn't so sure about.

The thoughts had started to wander off in Lexa's head as she sat down in her chair again. How she had been so sure about that Clarke wouldn't be a threat, she couldn't really explain, but she just knew. She could simply just feel it.

Lexa had let herself trust her feelings more and more when it came to the Sky girl. Lexa had taught Clarke to make decisions when using only hear head, logical and tactical thinking, while Clarke had taught Lexa that feelings weren't always a weakness. Somehow you had to balance them, but it was easier said than done and Lexa had always admired the way Clarke seemed to do the impossible of balancing them perfectly.

She knew she could trust Clarke, just has she had known before the war against the Mountain Men that she could trust her, she knew that trust hadn't faded. If it had, Clarke would have left as soon as Lexa found her in the forest; she maybe even would've tried to kill her right there, but she didn't. Clarke had instead told her that she needed Lexa.

The had commander quickly rose up from her chair and excited the tent. She could feel Indra's questioning gaze in her back, but she ignored it. Clarke needed her.

* * *

Clarke had been lost for words when Lexa had disappeared out from the tent. She had tried to stand up and walk after the commander, but she was still too weak. When she moved, it felt like every muscle in her body was about to break and her head started spinning as soon as she had stood up. So, she had quickly come to the conclusion that leaving bed was not going to happen yet. With other words, she was stuck in that bed, inside the tent, in a grounder village.

During the time she had been alone, she had tried not to think too much about what had happened, but it had been extremely hard.

Enormous amounts of emotions had flown around in the air between them during their conversation and Lexa had started to open up to her feelings, but then she closed herself with a slam and just left. Had Clarke been too harsh on her?

Clarke knew that Lexa had a complicated relationship with her feelings, whether she should think they're weakness or not. Maybe she should not have pushed her so much, maybe it became too much for her.

But Clarke just wanted something out of Lexa, something that showed how she really felt about what happened at Mount Weather. After what she had done to Clarke and her people, words just weren't enough.

Clarke needed more than just words to be able to forgive her and be in peace with what had happened. She needed more than to just understand Lexa's duty as a commander. Something was needed in order to put out the feeling of that Lexa had used Clarke and then betrayed her when she had left her and her people there to fight alone.

Clarke wanted to see and feel that Lexa cared, not hear it in words.

* * *

When Lexa entered the tent, Clarke had been calmly asleep. Lexa studied the blonde for a while from where she was standing in the opening of the tent. A small lump of nervousness started to form in her stomach. Maybe it was too early; maybe Clarke needed more time to process what had happened.

Lexa hadn't gotten much time to think about if she should leave again or not, when she saw Clarke move and face her. Her blue eyes looked stripped from emotions, which made Lexa both relieved and worried at the same time, because she had no clue about how Clarke felt about her presence.

"Clarke?" Lexa took a careful step further into the tent. Her gaze had been moving around a bit in the tent, never settling anywhere, especially not at Clarke. Almost like she was afraid to look for too long at her, fore she felt so ashamed. She felt ashamed that she had left Clarke and for everything that had happened.

When Clarke sat up in the bed, Lexa had taken a few more steps closer to it. The blonde had still not cracked a single word to Lexa, which had felt weird, but she had tried not to think much about it. When Lexa was almost at the edge of the bed, she had stopped and looked down at Clarke who was looking back at her.

"I…" Lexa started, but had found it very hard to find words. She really hadn't known what to say, something that Lexa wasn't familiar with. She had never had trouble finding words before and it made her slightly panicked.

"I'm so tired of this; you can't run from your emotions forever Lexa." Clarke said to break the tensioning silence that was growing between them.

Clarke moved to edge of the bed and stood up on unsteady legs.

Without thinking, Lexa had thrown her arms forward to support Clarke by placing her arms under Clarke's and taking a firm, but gentle grasp around her elbows.

Clarke hadn't minded Lexa holding her. Her muscles had exploded with pain as she had moved to stand up, so it had been quite needed with some support. Therefore she couldn't help but to let a very small and thankful smile form in the corner of her lip.

"You need to stop hiding from your feelings." Clarke said with a raspy voice and returned to the serious look she was wearing before she had stood up.

She didn't look angry, nor sad or happy. She simply looked stubborn, determined and serious. She looked strong and full of self-esteem, even though her body had never been weaker before and her soul had never been more broken.

Lexa just stared at the blonde, having a slight feeling of déjà vu. She had remembered when Clarke had told Lexa that she had seen right through her, that Lexa was weak from hiding from her feelings and then, the kiss. Lexa swallowed and prayed that the heat she had felt growing on her cheeks hadn't blossomed into a red blush.

Lexa needed to give up, because Clarke definitely wouldn't. Clarke wouldn't stop until Lexa opened up, which made Lexa feel happy somehow.

Even though it was hard for her to do what Clarke demanded, she knew that Clarke wouldn't give up on her, and with that thought, Lexa had given up the fight to push down her feelings. She trusted Clarke with them, like she had never trusted anyone. Clarke refused to give up on her.

"I don't want to lose you again Clarke." Lexa said let her look wander away. She didn't want the blonde to see that her eyes were becoming red and filled with salty tears.

"I can't handle losing you again. You said that you needed me out in the forest and the truth is… I need you just as much." Lexa was still looking away; tears had slowly started rolling down her cheeks.

She took a deep breath as she was trying to keep control of her voice, so she wouldn't sound too unclear. Sure, she had been opening up and letting her emotions out, but she didn't want to be stripped of her pride too. Her pride was in her voice, so even though she was crying, she wanted to be able to speak clearly and controllably.

"I feel like a monster for what happened at Mount Weather and when I stumbled upon you out in the forest, I got to see what I have done to you. You could have died out there and it would have been my fault." Lexa continued and had felt her knees going weak as the emotions waved over her and drowned her.

"I'm so sorry Clarke. Will you ever be able to forgive me?" Lexa turned her head and faced Clarke again. The tears were pouring down her cheek and her whole body had gone numb.

Clarke had been stunned for a second; fore there had no longer been any trace of the ice cold, emotionless commander side of Lexa. Instead, it had been replaced with something fragile and emotionally overloaded. A side of Lexa that Clarke had never seen before. Lexa was completely giving in to her emotions.

When Clarke had realized what was happening, she had smiled slightly. She had waited for this moment for so long, for Lexa to completely open up and for once let her feelings fully out.

Clarke was feeling that Lexa cared, she had seen it and felt it, not only heard it in words. What she had wished for so much was happening and she just couldn't help to feel overwhelmed by it. Lexa cared; Lexa did really mean what she had been saying over and over again to Clarke, but without fully showing that she did. This was what had been needed in order for Clarke to start regaining the trust she once had had in Lexa.

The blonde took a step forward and embraced the sobbing commander. She held her tightly and inhaled the earthy smell of her brown hair has she caressed it.

"Thank you." She whispered into the commander's ear and felt Lexa wrapping her arms around her waist.


	5. Chapter 5

**Authors note: Okay, I know what you're all thinking. Why in hell haven't this bitch updated until now? I have answers for you, so don't kill me!**

 **First of all I've been very busy and will continuing being very busy during the summer. There are things I want or need to do more than just sit by my computer all day; therefore I will not have much time to write during my summer holiday. But I will however, take all the chances I get to write, it's just that the computer just doesn't come in first hand for me.**

 **Second, as I told you in my last update, I needed to take some time to plan and figure out where this story is going to go. I still need some time to figure it out, but I do at least have enough to post this very short chapter for you. Though, the biggest reason why I'm posting this short chapter is to show and tell you that my latest update was NOT the end of this story. I'm alive and I'm working like hell on this fic whenever I get the chance to.**

 **So, bear with me guys. I'm still working on it and there will be updates in the future. It'll just take a while, but I promise they will come. But, to make it up to you, I added something to this chapter that I think all, or most of you at least, will enjoy!**

 **Chapter 5: Waves**

Clarke and Lexa had stood embraced in each other's arms for a long while, riding out the wave of emotions that had crashed over them earlier.

Lexa had stopped crying and buried her face deep into Clarke's blonde hair, inhaling her scent, which had made her heart race, but at the same time she felt calm. It was a weird and indescribable feeling, but she had learned over the time she had known Clarke, that it was no use to question the feeling, fore it was something she couldn't help. It had just always been there and she liked it, she wanted to feel like that forever.

Clarke had gently stroked her fingers through Lexa's brown locks, which flowed perfectly down along her back. The Sky girl had hugged the commander slightly tighter as the warm air, which she had been breathing into the side of her neck, shot electrical chills down her spine.

Another kind of emotion had slowly started to wave over them and taken over.

When Clarke had felt that Lexa had calmed down enough, she loosened the embrace around her neck. Lexa followed her gesture and moved her head backwards to face Clarke, just enough for their noses to slightly touch each other. Their eyes had locked.

Clarke had never seen Lexa in such a fragile state before. Her eyes were still slightly red from crying and there was a hint of swelling around them., but despite that, she was the most beautiful human being Clarke had ever laid eyes on. Not that she had laid eyes on many; there had been a very limited number of people on The Ark. Even more limited number that actually had been her age.

But still, Lexa was something special and she had known that from the first time she saw her. With that though, Clarke had gently grabbed the back of Lexa's head and carefully pulled her closer.

At first, their lips had barely touched. It had been a careful and gentle brush, which had asked for permission to become something more.

Lexa had answered the slight touch of Clarke's warm lips against hers by pulling Clarke slightly closer to her, and then locked their lips together once more, deeper this time, but still gentle and slow.

Neither of them wanted to break the kiss.

They both had been craving to feel the touch of the other one's lips again ever since their first kiss. Even Clarke; despite her saying she wasn't ready. She had known within a heartbeat of their first kiss that she was very much head over heels for the commander.

Clarke had never felt so strongly about anyone before. Sure, she had felt something for Finn, but it wasn't even near what she had been feeling for Lexa and it scared her.

Everyone she had loved, not only romantically, but just loved or cared for in any way, had been taken away from her; Wells, Finn, her father and many of her people that came down to Earth with her from The Ark. Also, her mom and the rest of her people had been very close to be counted in there, when she almost had lost them all inside that mountain.

It scared her so much that she liked Lexa as much as she did. She couldn't bear to lose her too, and she almost had done so. Because of Clarke's strong emotions towards Lexa, Lexa's actions at Mount Weather had affected her more than what they would have done otherwise. Clarke had been so close to deciding to walk away and never see Lexa again, because of the anger she had felt and how badly Lexa had hurt her.

* * *

"You're hot." Lexa suddenly said into Clarke's lips.

Clarke got brutally thrown out of her thoughts, but grinned a bit when realizing what Lexa had said between their kisses. She let out a small laugh.

"Well, thank you Lexa." She said teasingly and grinned again before she had tried to capture the commander's lips again, but Lexa had taken a step back, which left Clarke looking like a question mark.

"No, I meant that you're warm Clarke! You're literally hot." Lexa said and placed her hand against Clarke's forehead. She had felt the burning of Clarke's skin against her own forehead while they've been kissing. She had tried to ignore it at first, but after a while she hadn't been able to anymore.

"What are you talking about Lexa? I'm fine." Clarke said, though it hadn't been entirely true. During their kiss, she had felt a pressuring feeling build up in her head. Along that, it had also felt like the air inside the tent had become thicker and harder to breath, but she had been ignoring it all and convinced herself it was something Lexa was doing to her.

"Maybe you should sit down; I don't want you to tire yourself. You haven't fully recovered yet." Lexa gently grabbed Clarke's arm and tried to get her to the bed, but as stubborn as Clarke was, she hadn't moved an inch. At least that had been Lexa's theory of why she hadn't moved.

"Clarke, please. You know it's only because I care for you." Lexa sighed and turned around to face the blonde, who was just looking out into nothing, her mouth wide open as she took long and hissing breaths.

"My God, Clarke! What is happening?" Lexa was quick to get to Clarke's side to support her. The Sky girl's face had almost turned completely blue as her legs stopped working and she was fully leaning on Lexa to keep up.

It had become harder and harder for Clarke to breath and the pressuring feeling in her head had grown stronger. Her vision had started to blur and suddenly she couldn't feel her legs anymore. _What is happening to me? Why can't I breathe?_

Lexa had started crying again, she was so scared and she knew nothing of what was going on.

She took a couple of deep breaths and carried the blonde to lay her down on the bed, on her side so she wouldn't choke on the white foam that had started to run out of her mouth.

When she had placed Clarke in a good position she darted to the entrance of the tent, her heart pounding hard in her chest. She had no idea of what was happening, but Clarke was not dying under her watch. That was not going to happen.

"Nyko!" She had screamed as high as she could when she aggressively had flung the tent entrance open.

"Where is Nyko?!" She screamed once more. All the people in the village had dropped what they were doing. They had all been looking at each other and their crying commander in shock, not knowing what was going on or why their commander suddenly had bust out the tent, screaming her lungs out.


	6. Chapter 6

**Authors note: Well, it has taken me like 50 years to write this chapter and I'm so sorry for that! I've had a lot going on in my life lately, with school especially. Life hasn't been very kind on me here lately and I haven't been able to get any time or energy to write, even though I've wanted to. But now things have calmed down a bit and I've been able to finish this chapter. At least it has calmed for now, it might go back to hell again. Wouldn't surprise me if it did! But anyways, here you have it folks, chapter 6 of this little fanfiction of mine. I hope you'll like it and thank you for waiting for this, thank you for staying and being patient. It makes me really happy to see how many actually enjoys my writing!**

 **A little reminder again, because it's been a while and some might have forgotten or there has arrived some new people. English is not my mother language, so there might be some grammatical errors or spelling mistakes. I try my best to look through the chapters before I publish them, to make sure there is as few of these errors as possible, but some I might not be aware of that they are errors or a few might slip through my sight! Criticism on my language is always welcome though, it helps me learn from my mistakes, but keep it in mind that I'm not a native English speaker.**

 **Chapter 6: Jus drein jus daun**

Nyko had been quick to reach up to the commander; though, it had felt like he had taken all day for Lexa.

Lexa had grabbed the healer in his clothes and aggressively dragged him into the tent and placed him in front of Clarke, who still had a lot of troubles breathing, white foam running down her chin.

"What is happening? Help her!" Lexa hissed as she tried to push her tears down. She couldn't let herself cry anymore, she had already let her people see too much when she had stumbled out from that tent like a fragile little bird, without a single bit of control of neither her body nor emotions. But she had to worry about that later; fore she could only worry about Clarke in that moment.

"She has been poisoned." Nyko said as he examined the foam that came out of Clarke's mouth. He took out a little wooden box out of the leather bag that was constantly hanging over his shoulder. He opened the box, which was filled with small bottles, each containing liquids of different colors. He searched through them before picking up one containing a light blue liquid.

"It's a persistent poison; she will need a drop of this once every second hour until it has completely left her body." He poured a big drop of the liquid into Clarke's mouth.

At first, Clarke had completely stopped breathing. Lexa had taken a deep breath, terrified that it had been too late, but Nyko looked surprisingly calm.

"Let it do its work, don't worry Heda." He said and wiped the foam from Clarkes chin.

Not before Clarke had started breathing again, this time more controllably, and regained a normal color in her face, had Lexa dared to fully breathe out again.

She had never in her life been so terrified before. What if Clarke died? What would she have done? What would the Sky people have done? She let out a deep sigh to clean out and reset her mind.

She didn't fear the Sky people particularly much, but she knew very well that they were capable of more than what she had thought when they had first shown up. When blinded by their own rage, they could cause a lot of damage, which she had already seen when the Sky boy they had called Finn, had slaughtered half a village in his search for Clarke.

It's never good to be blinded by rage, you make impulsive and bad decisions and they usually end up bouncing back at you. That was also shown when she had let the Sky boy become executed. But still, he had caused a lot of damage even if it costed him his life. If the Sky people knew about Clarke, that someone of her people had intended to kill her with poison, or in any way really, they would definitely all be blinded by rage.

With that thought, Lexa had been reminded of that someone did this to Clarke; someone in this village had intentionally poisoned the Sky princess. Lexa bit her lip and quickly tuned to walk up to the wooden table, where the food and drink had been placed. She picked up a piece of apple, holding it between her thumb and index finger, and examined it. There was an indistinct hole in it, where the person must have injected the poison. Lexa's jaw tensed and she almost crushed the piece of apple between her fingers, but stopped herself with a deep breath.

"Look at this, Nyko." She said and handed the large man the apple piece. He examined it shorty and then took a small bite of it, quickly spitting it out.

"It has been injected with the poison, for sure. Someone who is not familiar with the poison would not be able to detect its taste. Even though it takes a large amount of it to cause a killing affect, it's almost tasteless." Nyko said and glanced at his commander, whose face had been turning redder for every word he had spoken.

"Stay with her until I call for you, is that clear?" Lexa said under clenched jaws. She hadn't even waited for an answer from the healer before she turned and exited the tent. She was going to find out who had caused this and it had to happen quickly, the person might have already fled the village.

"I want everyone gathered outside, now!" She growled in Trigedasleng and threw a sharp look at the two guards standing not far from her tent. "You two! Make sure every tent and cottage is emptied of people." She quickly turned her head to the other side and faced Indra, who had been quick to reach to the commander as soon as she had seen her leave the tent. She ordered her to take three men with her, spread out and search through the forest around the village. If the found anyone who was trying to flee, she wanted the person or persons back alive.

* * *

People had been shocked by the sudden anger of their commander and the chaos that had spread through the village as the guards threw people out of their houses. Lexa needed to be harsh, so the previous happening would be forgotten by her people. She didn't want them to remember how fragile she had been when she stumbled out before, tears burning in her eyes. She had to regain her strength, frighten them a bit, fore she is not weak.

"Someone from this village has attempted to poison the Sky princess." She shouted to the people and tensed her look at every one of them. Slight surprised gasps waved over the village people. "I'm going to find who it is one way or another and until then, no one **makes a move**." She roared and put extra strength in the last three words, to make clear that whoever tried to leave or go back to their house would be punished.

More guards had come over to her and with a slight hand gesture, they ran down the small hill which the Commander's tent was located on and started to tear houses upside down, except for two of them, who started to search through the people in the crowd for anything suspicious.

Lexa turned around and walked into the tent again. Nyko was sitting beside Clarke, making sure she was breathing properly or getting new symptoms from the posion.

"Go out and help the guards find the poison. You're the only one here who truly knows it." She had ordered him and took his place besides Clarke. "If you find it, report to me immediately." Nyko gave her a slight nod and hurried out of the tent to being the search.

Lexa sighed loudly as she had crouched down besides the bed, where the blond was peacefully laying, breathing steady. For now at least, Lexa had thought as she gently removed some strands of hair away from Clarke's face.

"I'm so sorry Clarke." She whispered and leaned in to brush her lips against Clarke's pale chin. The sky girl was still a bit warm, but not nearly as much as she had been before during the… Lexa's lips had crooked into a slight smile as her thoughts wandered to the kiss they had shared before.

That kiss had been something special, even more special than their first. It had been full of need and longing, a longing to become something more.

Lexa's thoughts were interrupted by a guard, who had called for her by the tent entrance.

"Heda, we've found something." He said and held up the tent entrance so his commander could step outside.

The commander was met by the sight of a teenage boy at the end of the small hill. He had been pushed down on his knees on the muddy ground by two guards and his hands were tied behind his back. His gaze had been fixated on the ground, not daring to face his commander as she walked down the hill. By his side stood Indra, arms crossed. She greeted her commander with a nod.

Lexa had confidentially walked down the hill and stopped in front of the boy, who was about sixteen or seventeen years old. She recognized him of course, he lived in the village.

"And why have my guards captured you?" She asked him with a dark voice in Trigedasleng.

Indra had begun to explain that they found him not very far from the village. He had been trying to hide something by burying it in the soil out in the forest, but Lexa had silenced her mid-sentence by raising her hand towards her.

"I want to hear it from him. What were you hiding?" Lexa commanded, rather than asked. The boy looked up at her. His face was covered in dirt and he had a line of dried blood under his nose. He had probably tried to escape when the guards came or even picked up a fight with them. He looked rather calm, there was a slight glimpse of fear in his eyes, but other than that, he looked too calm for Lexa's liking.

"The Sky people are a threat." He said and looked down to the ground again. Lexa snorted at what he had said.

"So you thought that poisoning Clarke would make everything better?" She growled, but the boy didn't even flinch, which displeased Lexa. He was almost not afraid of her, which was really bad, so she grabbed a firm hold of his hair and pulled his head backwards, forcing him to face her.

"You look at me when I speak! You thought poisoning Clarke was a good idea?!" She sharpened her look at him, which had fired up his fear a bit, together with the pain from the grip of his hair. _Good_ , she thought.

"She is a threat!" He said again, making faces as Lexa's grip around his hair tensed. She had bended her back a bit and leaned forwards towards the boy.

"You could've killed me too. I was inside that tent, eating of the food. Lucky for you, you had only poisoned the apples." She said to him in a lowered voice and saw the panic growing in his eyes. He had very clearly not planned to harm his commander.

"You will pay your price for this." She said, in the same lowered voice before straitening herself up. "This boy has tried to kill the Sky princess and could've killed his commander in the process. There will be justice for what he has done!" She had shouted so all the people in the village could hear. All of the villagers raised their hands up in the air, some shouted in agreement, but it was very halfhearted. Lexa didn't like it. Many of them probably agreed with what this boy had tried to do, but she was going to show them.

The commander smirked shortly, before turning around. "Tie him to the pole." She looked at Indra, who nodded slightly and then turned to order the guards to take the boy, who was completely destroyed by the mistake he had made, to the pole and tie him up.

"Go back to Clarke and make sure she is okay. If anything happens or changes, call for me." She said to Nyko before walking after Indra and the guards, dragging the boy through the mud towards a tall pole, where they had tied him up with his arms above his head.

The boy had tried to hold in a scream as Lexa slowly moved the knife across his arm, blood immediately flowing from the cut wound. His shirt had been taken off, giving Lexa access to drag her knife wherever she pleased on his upper body. After the cut across his arm, she made a long one on his stomach, which had made him groan and let out a small scream of pain.

Lexa remembered the time when she had tortured a girl from the Sky people in the same way, Raven she believed her name was. She hadn't bothered to remember it well enough to be sure. However, she had taken no joy in doing that. Raven was Clarke's friend and she hated to hurt Clarke, but she knew it had to be done.

She had enjoyed hurting this boy though. Enjoyed might have been the wrong choice of words, but she would lie if she said she hadn't been satisfied to see the pain in his eyes and hear his screams as she once more dragged the knife over his body. This had been for Clarke.

* * *

She had been torturing the boy for a good while; when he had started to become so exhausted, he couldn't even scream anymore. Lexa had been about to end it and kill him, when a familiar voice appeared in her head. It was Clarke. She wouldn't want her to kill the boy, because the boy hadn't managed to kill her after all. She knew Clarke would be upset if she took his life, when he hadn't taken hers or anyone else's.

The commander clenched her jaws together, she wanted so badly to run him through with the knife, but she couldn't. She had to listen to what her instinct, or Clarke, had told her.

She threw the knife to the side and grabbed a firm grip around the boy's hair and pulled his head up. His eyes expressed great exhaustion and his forehead was covered in drops of sweat.

"Let this be a huge warning. If you ever dare to hurt Clarke again, I'll kill you!" She growled in his face before turning around, still holding his head up.

"Let this be a warning to all of you. If anyone tries something like he did, they will suffer the same fate or worse!" She shouted and violently let go of the boy's hair, his head fell heavily back to face the ground. With that, she had left him there hanging from the pole, covered in blood, dirt and sweat.

As Lexa headed for the commander's tent, Indra had joined her by her side.

"What should I do with him heda?" She asked and threw a quick gaze back at the boy, still tied up by the pole.

"Take him down in some minutes. I want the people to really remember how he looked before bringing him inside. When you have, let a healer treat his wounds and give him some water. No food until I say so though." Lexa said without looking at Indra, her mind had only been set on getting to Clarke. Indra had nodded and quickly left her commanders side.

She hoped that during these hours that she had spent away from the tent, Clarke had gotten better, maybe even woken up. Though she didn't dare to hope too much, remembering what Nyko had said about the poison.

Nyko had been in the process of giving Clarke a drop of the antidote when Lexa had entered the tent. She walked up to the side of the bed and looked down at Clarke, who had her eyes slightly open. Lexa crouched down besides the bed, Nyko quickly moving out of the way to give his commander and the Sky princess some space.

Clarke slowly moved her gaze to Lexa. She smiled weakly. Lexa hadn't been able to smile back. She felt so much guilt.

"How are you feeling?" The commander asked and placed her hand on Clarke's pale chin to feel if her temperature had gone down. It had a lot since before she had left, but she was still a bit warm.

"I've been better." Clarke joked and smiled again, this time Lexa smiled back. How could she be so positive in this situation? How could she joke about it? Lexa had taken this very seriously and with great anger, but when Clarke had seemed more relaxed about the situation, she relaxed a bit too.

"I'm so sorry, Clarke" She exhaled and moved her gaze away from the blond for a second. Lexa felt a hand placed on her own, which made warmth spread throughout her body.

"It wasn't your fault." Clarke had answered and gave Lexa an understanding look. Lexa moved her hand to give Clarke's a slight squeeze as a thank you. She then raised her head and looked around her in the tent to see if Nyko was still in there.

When Lexa had made sure than Nyko had left, she leaned in to gently brush her lips against Clarke's, who seemed to have nothing against it. It hadn't been because she was ashamed of feelings for Clarke. She was very sure Nyko had seen right through her all this time he has spent in the tent with them both. He and the others in the village knew very well that their commander felt strongly about the Sky princess. It was because of that many people believed that because of that she felt so strongly for Clarke, it had made her weak. And with the happening with the boy, seeing that someone had done such a thing because they thought Clarke was a threat, it was better if no one saw. Not even Nyko.

Lexa did feel weak though, but in other way than before. She felt weak for Clarke, for what she did to her and her feelings for the blond. She couldn't resist nor fight them and that's why she felt weak. Clarke was bringing her to her knees without even touching her.

She had also never been so afraid to lose Clarke; she had probably never been so frightened in her whole life before. The facts that she was able to kiss Clarke again after all that had happened, it felt heavenly and she couldn't do anything but to give in to that.

"I'm so glad you're alive and okay." The commander said after the kiss with a warmth in her voice that Clarke had never heard or felt before. It had taken her by surprise, which had made her speechless for some seconds.

"Lexa…" She begun, but was interrupted by shouting outside the tent. Lexa shot up from the ground and turned quickly around. Goddamn this! Can't she have one minute alone with Clarke? They had a lot to sort out between them. Even though most of it already had been sorted out, there was a lot more, but they never got the chance to, which had made Lexa very annoyed. There had always kept occurring interruptions every time she and Clarke had been alone.

"Where is Clarke?! I swear, if you have done something to her!" A familiar man's voice shouted from outside. "Bellamy!" Clarke exclaimed and tuned her head towards Lexa, who had also turned her head to face Clarke. This did not bode well.


End file.
